Perimenopause: The 100 Symptoms We Weren’t Ready For (And Neither Were Our Moms)

Hey besties, let’s talk about the life stage no one warned us about. Perimenopause. Yep, that sneaky little phase that can start as early as 35 when you’re still getting your period and, surprise—you can still get pregnant. What they *didn’t* tell us is that perimenopause comes with a *buffet* of symptoms. We’re talking everything from mood swings to body aches to "wait, am I actually losing my mind?" moments. Here’s the tea, told through the stories of five women who are living it—just like you and me.  

Meet the Perimenopause Squad

Tanya, 41 – Memory Wipe Extraordinaire:
Tanya’s calendar became her BFF because she couldn’t remember anything—not her anniversary, not her password, and once, not even her lunch in the fridge. “I felt like I was glitching in real life. Turns out, brain fog is a huge perimenopause symptom. Who knew?” 

Michelle, 36 – Mood Swing Maverick:
Michelle was the chill, cucumber kind of friend—until she wasn’t. “I’d go from zen goddess to rage monster in 2.5 seconds, and I didn’t even know why. My poor husband just kept asking if I needed chocolate. Bless him.”  

Jess, 38 – The Sweat Queen:
Jess went from yoga-glow to permanent dampness. She’d be at a meeting when—bam—a hot flash would hit like a heatwave. And let’s not talk about the night sweats. “I thought it was my apartment heater going rogue, but nope, just my hormones.”  

Sarah, 40 – Sleep, Interrupted:
Sleep? What’s that? Sarah started waking up at 3 AM every night, staring at the ceiling like it was a TikTok for insomniacs. “I thought it was stress from work, but no amount of lavender spray helped. It was hormones messing with my circadian rhythm.”  

Becca, 37 – Weight Gain Whisperer: 
Becca hit the gym hard but still couldn’t shake the extra weight around her waist. “I used to eat one slice of cake and it was fine. Now? I look at carbs, and my jeans cry.” 

The Perimenopause Symptom Menu (Brace Yourself)

Here’s a quick glance at the full symptom spread. If you’ve got even a handful of these, welcome to the squad:  

1. Hot flashes  

2. Night sweats  

3. Brain fog  

4. Mood swings  

5. Anxiety  

6. Insomnia  

7. Fatigue  

8. Irregular periods  

9. Weight gain (especially around the middle)  

10. Loss of libido  

11. Dry skin  

12. Vaginal dryness  

13. Hair thinning  

14. Acne  

15. Breast tenderness  

16. Migraines  

17. Joint pain  

18. Muscle aches  

19. Bloating  

20. Heart palpitations  

21. Dizziness  

22. Memory loss  

23. Concentration problems  

24. Irritability  

25. Feeling “out of control”  

26. Depression  

27. Frequent UTIs  

28. Digestive issues  

29. Cravings  

30. Sensitivity to smells  

31. Vision changes  

32. Increased allergies  

33. Pins and needles sensation  

34. Skin sensitivity  

35. Sudden crying  

36. Restless legs  

37. Dry eyes  

38. Thinning eyebrows  

39. Bleeding gums  

40. Metallic taste in the mouth  

41. Tinnitus (ringing in the ears)  

42. Sensitivity to light  

43. Chills  

44. Nausea  

45. Frequent headaches  

46. Feeling like you're in a fog  

47. Panic attacks  

48. Sudden bursts of anger  

49. Low blood sugar crashes  

50. Excess sweating  

51. Burning mouth syndrome  

52. Numbness in extremities  

53. Hair loss  

54. Muscle cramps  

55. Back pain  

56. Swollen feet  

57. Balance issues  

58. Increased thirst  

59. Dark circles under eyes  

60. Changes in body odor  

61. Itchy skin  

62. Sensitive teeth  

63. Brittle nails  

64. Constipation  

65. Diarrhea  

66. Increased PMS symptoms  

67. Ovarian cysts  

68. Abnormal spotting  

69. Chronic fatigue  

70. Sinus issues  

71. Tight chest  

72. Sudden food sensitivities  

73. Feelings of dread  

74. Emotional numbness  

75. Ear pain  

76. Racing thoughts  

77. Cold flashes  

78. Achy fingers  

79. Stretch marks  

80. Bulging veins  

81. Eye floaters  

82. Slow healing  

83. Weak grip strength  

84. Flaky scalp  

85. Electric shocks  

86. Jaw pain  

87. Mouth ulcers  

88. Bleeding nose  

89. Loss of bone density  

90. Random bruises  

91. Shaky hands  

92. Pelvic pain  

93. Groin pain  

94. Puffy face  

95. Sudden allergies  

96. Sinus pressure  

97. Hormonal acne on jawline  

98. Swollen glands  

99. Foot pain  

100. Overall feeling of “WTF is happening to me?” 

What Now? Talk to Your Doctor, Sis.
If any of this sounds *too* familiar, it’s time to take action. You deserve to know what’s happening in your body, and your doctor should be your partner in that. Don’t get brushed off. Ask the tough questions. Advocate for yourself.  

And, if you’re ready to learn more, take the quiz at [NNABI.co](https://NNABI.co). You deserve clarity and control over this wild ride that is perimenopause. Let’s make sure every woman knows she’s not alone. 💪